Biggggg Maid

A few weeks a go, a friend and I were invited to a friend’s house for lunch. Lunch was good, but that is not the topic for today. The topic is their maid. They are expecting, so they hired a maid 2-3 months ago to help them with chores and taking care of the baby when she finally comes.

When they hired her, they noticed that her belly was unusually big for her size. They asked her if she were pregnant and she said that is her usual shape (“Nze bwentyo bwenakula”). Every time they went to the store they thought of buying her de-worming tablets, but they were afraid they would offend her.

Soon, they started believing that was her natural shape, despite the neighbor’s claims that she was pregnant. Until one fateful night…

They were awakened by a crying baby, but they thought a friend of theirs in the other bedroom was playing tricks on them. They went to check it out anyway, and found a baby girl. How she had managed to have it???????

She had stormed into the friend’s room on the other side of the house at about 3:00am pleading for help. He had just returned from the club and had had more than his share of alcoholic drinks. In his dazed state, he saw her lie down and spread her legs. He saw a baby’s head and the alcohol immediately left his head. He found a clean blade, cut her and did everything necessary so that the baby was delivered safely.

At 4:00am when the other two came to see the baby, they panicked and called to an elderly neighbor to come check out the situation. When she arrived, she confirmed that everything was perfect.

Asked how he learned his skills, the accidental midwife said “from watching Dr. 90210.”
Unfortunately (I guess for both parties), they are going to fire her very soon. They cannot believe she could keep such a thing from them, and they are not very sure of what she would have done with the baby if she had successfully delivered her on her own without anyone knowing about it.